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[11 Jul 2009|02:35am] |
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let me believe.
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| another motivational message courtesy of a happy girl |
[28 Jun 2009|11:08am] |
Happiness is bliss happiness is content happiness is here to stay happiness makes me want to yay!
Humans are naturally pessimistic. WOOHOOIMSOHAPPYNOWTHEHAPPIESTI'VEBEENINAWHILEBUTbut whenam.i..gonna...be...sad...again? When is life going to typically hit me from my arse and push me down the rollercoaster, dragging me down, teeth sliding, grinding past the ground.
When you're happy, be happy. When you feel like crying, cry as much as you wish. Smile when you can, be quiet if you feel like it. If you're in the mood, dance. Dance to your hearts content. Or in the spur of the moment, sing. Sing to yourself if you're shy, sing to the crowds of passerbys. Go crazy, it's your life.
Live, just for now.
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[16 Jun 2009|07:43pm] |
never had a good break for a long time
lets hope this break coming really soon might prove something.
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[15 Jun 2009|11:56pm] |
i really love having izzy around with me :) You are awesome! Heider the Homie is as usual great company, he deserves ice cream.
and here we go!
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| iron and wine |
[14 Jun 2009|03:01pm] |
everything is alright, and then some.
time stops, time stops when it stops and when it does, i'd like it to stay still for a very long time. not knowing about the future and uncaring for the past, still. then life comes back reminding me of my responsibilities as a daughter, as a sister, as a worker, as a human. I want to close my eyes and heave a large sigh, and it is then where i wish time stand still again. I don't want anything else waiting for my attention when I sleep. I don't want anything else waiting for my attention when I wake.
I'm generally not a selfish person. I generally don't like to make mistakes. And yet. I generally have not done much right. I am extremely tired of trying my best to be human and to follow the requirements of my being. I am constantly reminded of how judgemental everyone can be, and I know very well that every single move I make I am being looked upon. People don't really care when you are doing constantly well, people only start talking once you break down.
Its funny how we have created a world that we hate. Ask a person whether they are happy they'd have to think for a while. With all the systems the laws the general etiquette our body language our emotions we try to behave. Follow what they say, follow what your parents say, be influenced by what your friends feel is right.
When can I start living for myself and not for others?
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[13 Jun 2009|12:41am] |
in the end, what matters? Its Love.
and all in all whichever days i've had or whatsoever, I have been really happy.
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[30 May 2009|05:30pm] |
if i had a day of mine to choose,
i'd choose to do nothing.
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[27 May 2009|11:28pm] |
i would eventually learn to be bold,
you practise and you practise and eventually your confidence rises. you skin gets thicker. you are ready for whatever fall there is because you know that you can take it. You eventually do slip, but you would get yourself up. No harm done at all. It is easier to make mistakes and learn from them than to try to make none. Learning is an awesome process.
aaaaaaand im trying not to panic now
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| for the sunshine hides behind the water vapour in the sky, we can hardly see sometimes. |
[26 May 2009|09:43am] |
Last night, I sat down with a friend in a busy train station. His train came but none of us moved. We sat down on the one of the benches and sighed. Dead tired from our lives. He was the complete opposite of me- me being filled with hope and him, longing for hope. I looked at him sometimes and I feel his agony. Sometimes when you are not in the state of sadness you wonder what it is like to be in that state all over again. Sometimes they say that being in pain makes us more human, I wonder if it's true? Is the feeling of pain stronger than the feeling of happiness? Do we feel more, when we are down? Anyway I looked at him and wished I could pray for him, and silently did. Both our trains came and the same time, and we said our goodbyes. "Take care." and I remembered the conversation I had with Martin the other day,
"We can be happy and sad at the same time."
"Well maybe it's because I was so sad that one small thing can make me the slightest bit happier."
Which also reminded me of Alma.
Where she left such a depression on boys of all kinds, that they long for another girl in order to replace her, but come to think of it, if she didn't leave them the feeling of emptiness, they wouldn't need to fill them anyway.
So I went into the train, and when it was two stops away from home, I saw an ex classmate. I glanced at her, and almost immediately, I shunned and looked the other way, almost covering my face. Then I thought to myself, "What the hell am I doing? Why am I acting like that?" Then I thought about agoraphobia. Then I realise phobias are man-made, not by science. Which was common sense anyway. I did the next crazy thing, I secretly walked myself to the other cabin, so that I didn't need to have to urge to say hi to her. I felt dumber than ever, but glad I didn't have to make "Awkward Hi how are you? Graduated already huh? Are you planning to work or study at a university? Oh, you are working already? Where? As what? Oh it's your stop? Okay bye! By the way, we should hang out soon! Haven't seen you in a long time! Bye!" conversations. I am thoroughly sick of making small talk, so please don't judge me if I walk past you, I'm saving us the awkwardness. Or happen to look like crap at that point of time.
Forever is a scary word, isn't it? It could probably be the scariest word in our era. We are so used to have disposable goods, and how people are almost disposable sometimes. Now, we hardly blink an eye when people come and go past your life, no matter how close they may be. I love Westlife Forever, not. My artwork is Forever, not. I would be Forever beautiful, not. She would love me forever, not. I will never forget you forever, not. We love each other now and forever, not. Somehow people lose belief in Forever like how people lose faith in God. Somehow or another Forever lets you down and slowly you become so used to Forever being not Forever and suddenly when someone tells you about Forever you think twice or thrice and maybe never believe in it at all. Well, just for today perhaps, believe in things being Forever. and ever. Than never.
It might do you good today.
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| ohwtfbbq |
[21 May 2009|12:17pm] |
today is Graduation Day.
Surreal much? I don't think it would hit me until a few more days, not that we already haven't lived out "post school days" anyway. We have already started the next phase of our lives, one by one by one. Not that it means anything, it is just different, and the way it should be.
three years seemed fast. faster than secondary school life, primary school life, but yet they have all past. it was friday last week and it is then friday tommorow. weeks past faster than days i used to have. minutes seem to pass faster and after i get out of my stoning period its already 5 more minutes till the end of the day.
yesterday i scalded myself with hot ban mian soup. very smart Stacy. "It can happen to anyone of us," people say. Gareth Gates sang that same song before. my retaliation is "but why me?! why me?! because i was damn dumb to pour ban mian at the sofa and holding the very small tip of it of course it would spill it would spill you would miss you silly doofus wtffffffff were you thinking?!"
i feel better already.. but it was hell yesterday. i cried like mad. shiver. my mom had to make it worse by scolding me about not pouring it in the kitchen/standing up while pouring it. felt dumber than eva. ah well
Happy graduation to my coursemates and i!
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[16 May 2009|12:29pm] |
for every someone there is a someone
just for them, just for you.
the bus has come, Melissa, it has come here to stay.
came here to fetch these worries away.
don't go wrong directions, don't be stuck in a bus
that leads you to nowhere, that doesnt
make you comfortable.
for every someone there is a someone
just for them, just for you.
life comes and goes, just like us,
it is to create something that lasts
shove away the past,
(murakami i'm shoveling snow as well)
hope you're doing well.
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| for you momma |
[10 May 2009|02:02pm] |
You drive me crazy,
I drive you crazy,
its all the same.
I love you all the same!
Happy Momma's day!
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| #personalitytrendsofstacy |
[06 May 2009|09:37am] |
tendency to feel like i never have time - above average
tendency to feel like lousier company - above average
tendency to go with the flow - high
tendency to demand things - ultra low
tendency to help others than myself - high
tendency to be needy - almost zero
tendency to be hungry - in constant acceleration
tendency to get annoyed with my ipod mini (shuffle) - in constant acceleration
tendency to procrastinate (with my own work) - friggin high
tendency to shun others and rather be alone- slightly above average
tendency to write entries like that when i have nothing else to do but makes me feel like i do anyway - somewhat average
sounds as if im perfectly sane.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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| what happens to the rest of the people in your photograph? I usually hope they land in nice places. |
[03 May 2009|11:53am] |
this is
1. a picture of you in your room.
2. a picture with someone you don’t actually like
(NO, NO.....STILL NO!)
3. a picture of you very drunkhigh.
that night i remember looking at the mirror and going - O HEY SO THATS HOW YOU LOOK WITH YOU ARE HIGH! *cue giggle and laughter*
4. a picture of you on your birthday, or your favourite holiday.
5. the youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form.
6. a picture of you in one of your favourite outfits.
7. a picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.
8. a picture you miiiiiight have edited to make yourself more attractive.
9. a picture of a night you regret…
YES, I DO REGRET BEING THE ONLY UGLY NERDY ONE IN THE 90S FLASHBACK PARTY. MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS BACK IN PRIMARY SCHOOL!
10. a picture of you truly being yourself.
11. the most recent picture of you.
12. a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.
WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOO!
13. a picture of you showing off a new haircut/color
14. a picture of a time in your life that’s over, but you wish it wasn’t.
oh AND (ps: i know im totally missing the point of it being A PICTURE, BUT C'MON, IM MAKING AN EFFORT IN MAKING A PICTURE POST! ^_^)
15. a picture of a time in your life that’s over, and you couldn’t be more thankful that it is.
thank goodness for no more not-being-well days.
16.a picture of you when you were anything but happy…
17. a picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.
18. a picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.
19. a picture of you with someone you love.
someone(s) i love:
20. a picture of how you’d like the world to see you.
21. a picture that describes how you’d like to spend every day.
22. a picture of a time when everything was changing.
23. a picture that makes your heart hurt.
24. a picture that makes your heart smile
25. A picture of one of the best nights of your life. (or day)
those who were there would agree. :)
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| food cravings |
[27 Apr 2009|12:34am] |
chilli crab
satay
bbq chicken wings
ramly
gyu don
out of which, two would be fulfilled by the end of this week.
POWER
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| switch foot switch foot |
[23 Apr 2009|09:57am] |
have to start taking a roll of film
have to start taking a roll of film
have to start taking a roll of film
tell the kids to remember that falling is always the next step to growing, & hope they'd be alright. that their small little spirits stay alive, and stand up again. this time, more gung ho than ever. hides, when you get well, we're gonna cycle the whole of east coast.
today i feel like i could cartwheel all around town. (if anyone would start pushing me out of bed, that is.)
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| once |
[16 Apr 2009|08:18am] |
i haven't been awake at 8am for quite a while. at least when it's 745am I'd go, what? and i'd head back to sleep. You know how when people sing you look at their expressions? american idol's got it. sometimes when you look at a choir, one or two stand out, but only because they are the ones with weird expressions.
i think i look weird when i sing. i look like i'm like stoning. like a rock singing, really. oh oh, maybe like a goldfish. mom mom mom mom put-subtitles-in-me-you-won't-go-wrong mom mom mom.
and hi there, i'm glad i'm still on your friends list, lurking behind like the angel from your nightmare in a blink 182 video. i love posting erratically, for example now when approximately half the world is asleep and half awake. doesn't the balance of this world irk you sometimes?
i decided not to have music in the morning. the slow traffic in the roads are the sounds of this hour. iiiii'm gonna miss this. better appreciate this real quick. ahh, alright appreciated.
early mornings calls for a headstart for the day! (i feel like i'm twittering paragraphs except the words are more now) first drop of sinus has come. the day has officially started.
when am i going to see you guys again? don't tell me when "there is an upcoming gig". are we friends no more?
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[29 Mar 2009|10:30am] |
saturday was a thoroughly exciting day, just some points to take note
: it's always about the company. the picnic we had in school, giving a toast to "KIDS FOREVER!" that would always be epic.
: izzy for being the one and only friend to come visit my show. (and not being bored by the exhibition) gold star for lovely girl!
: exciting intense talks about revenge battles. we'll never admit defeat!
: thai express - trying out new dish - can never go wrong with soft shell crab!
: car ride to clarke quay, random dancing and laughing in the car, driver regretting driving us
: awkwardness? priceless
: all hell breaking loose when darren boat told me to down the chili tequila with 3 of his friends. We downed it, didn't know what we were in for, three of us puked our dinners, one kept it in and stopped talking. darren boat and accomplice friend felt slightly guilty at the sight. it was my first and only drink for the night.
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| hello my possum friends |
[27 Mar 2009|09:34am] |
if you haven't seen my spams on facebook (which were not meant to be spams but thats how screwed the new system is), my Graduation design show starts today! Do drop by if you can, I would gladly show you around and erm show you my final year project and i dont know, have some fun. i know most of you would be lazy to check the website so i shall write it here hur hur
Venue: Temasek Convention Centre (My school, but right at the end of School of Engineering)
Open: Friday (12-9), Saturday (10-5), Monday (12-9)
I'm under Visual Communication. It's a bit farrr so if you guys are turned off by the venue, you could just see it from my portfolio website here http://is.gd/oOdI or http://justfornow.tumblr.com , thanks!
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It seems surreal that I am graduating really soon. Has it really been three years? Three years of learning about my dreams, life and love. Got to say I've grown up quite a lot from it. I saw two primary school boys on my bus the other day. This boy shared with his friend a book he made with foolscap papers stapled with each other. He titled it, "The Book of Crazy Songs". The friend was flipping through and it had songs about "Clouds" which goes like "Clouds clouds clouds..." or "Birds" which goes like "Birds birds birds". The boy who made the songs were reciting them out loud to his friend, and his friend kept sniggering, sometimes laughing with his head backwards. I kept smiling at them and realised that this is your dreams and mine begun.
I used to draw princesses with jewels on their head with puffy dresses, inspired by the number of disney cartoons I watch. Every week, I would visit my Uncle's family and my cousin and I would spend hours (and lots of paper) drawing. Now, my cousin and I are both in design schools whilst the rest of my cousins got into medicine and university. I wonder what I could have become if I dropped my pencil and forgotten what I liked to do. If my love of drawing and colouring disappear by time and I decided that it was only a phase of my life and didn't venture in it. And I wonder how many dreams are faded by time. The construction worker who works for my flat may have dreamed to become a singer. The tired childhood teacher might have dreamed to become an air stewardess. So did this science student, and that junior college student that has no clue what she wants to do anymore. That guy that just signed on to being a navy officer, he wanted to be a chef. That girl who works so hard in telemarketing, her dream was to open a cake shop. So many dreams disappear till we feel like it has disappeared forever. Till we lose faith in finding it again.
Because of this I feel immensely blessed and happy. I'm glad I decided to come to this course and be so close to my dream. Its an incredible feeling. I can't imagine myself being anywhere but here, even though it feels too surreal sometimes. Also, I have not come here alone, but with the support from my family and the continuous encouragement from my friends. God has blessed me with so much, so much. And I thank everyday which goes well or doesn't go well, everyday I learn something new and grow from it. I am just happy to be here. I am happy to graduate with all my friends that I've grown to love (and will miss) these three years. We've really come this far and I love all of you. To the rest of my family and friends whom I know will be there for life, you are never forgotten. And the lecturers that are sincere about guiding and teaching me and my classmates, you inspired us. Before I get too thankful and mushy, you guys make my life beautiful.
<3 (Screw the bad grammar.)
(dreams do come true.)
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