things always happens for a reason, you taught me that.
and its all in the bigger plan, you reminded me that.

The best gift of Christmas is feeling completely brand new.
What a great ending to the year. :)

I get lost all the time in my own world.

It is Sunday again and I'll stay awake till i feel that my weekend is satisfied. Monday reminds me of how much I can do better. As much as I feel that I am doing alright in my job, I feel a little sick in the stomach knowing there is so much room for improvement. Really, it is not okay. I know it comes with experience and I am young and yada but I bet if someone were in my position doing my work they could have probably done better. Times like these really makes me question my life decisions.

Which is why I can't wait for school. I know that I've learnt a lot since I have started work but I just am so excited to start from square one in school. I am excited for things that will happen, what is to come. sfjkvfjvnfiovjfiovjwoopie!!!!!

i still read your all your livejournals by the way.

SO HI

I am happy.

The Pipettes are playing on my itunes shuffle now. Reminds me of the old times where we used to go and hangout at Homeclub every friday night right? Years ago if I went alone and passed by Homeclub there would definitely be someone I know over there and we'll just sit redundantly at a spot for hours talking about life and jokes.

Over the years and now I've realised I've let more people slip away and also opened up to lesser people. It might be my fault at how some really awesome friendships got burnt due to miscommunication and the lack of communication. If there's one thing I learnt from last year is knowing that I am nothing close to perfect, not even close. In fact I would say I am pretty much uglier than I am perceived as. If people would stop thinking of me as a really nice person would they start seeing the imperfect person that I am? That way could I then stop them now from thinking "damn son, i thought she was nice, but she actually has flaws." Could I then tell everyone furreal that hmm, sorry if you thought I was a nice person, however i believe everyone has flaws = Sorry if you can not accept that I can be as flawed as any other = sorry that I am just as human? So then, what next. Let us start all over again and I would stop being too nice for a start and begin to show my flaws first than the other way round? Would we reach a compromise and accept things and be better friends then?

How long do things last really? Does anything ever last at all? I wish my relationships could be longer than the age of some trees. However, the ones that matter stay. And as far as they can be sometimes they are always there. And I guess that is what matters.

These past three months overseas was not exactly an eye opener but it also gave me a lot of time to think. (Or not to.) My problems were as far away as I was from home. They just suddenly didn't fucking matter. And if I let it stay that way, I could do so and leave the past behind me when I get back, right? (hmm #2) But nonetheless, I am much much happier and much much more thankful of what I have now than what I've lost. I'm also btw very jobless and loving the amount of sleep and fun I'm having.

oh what a facade. actually i'm really bored and albeit being picky about my job options, I just want to start work now. And hope everything else falls into place nicely. I would love to fill you in with my stories if you let me hear yours.

I always wished I were Clementine Kruczynski, or Alma, or Ellen Page, somebody whom you wouldn't want to lose, a fleeting moment of love. I wished that I would disappear leaving a burn on your neck, than you hurt mine. Neither am I someone special, a headturn times million times kind of girl, to be honest I am pretty dull. And neither am I special, to let your head turn again, never to let me disappear from your sight.

I never thought I would see No Doubt in my life. Ever. When I was young I used to hate them when I saw the MV of "Girlfriend". I didn't understand what the pink haired girl was saying but she looked so angry and it scared me. Neither did I like their music one bit. One or two years later, after I realised that N*Sync wasn't a girl band (yes I thought they were like all saints, the name that is), I started to like listening to No doubt on the radio. Don't Speak, Hella Good, Running, Underneath it all, and more. I got obsessed with Gwen as much as I admired her, her red lipstick and blonde hair, the ways she smiles, her character. Later I forgot about them, until now,

I didn't know just how much I actually liked them. Until I was jumping up and down with so much fun during No Doubt's gig last night at F1 Rocks. She was exactly like how I thought of, except that the television has melted and there she was before me. Her red lipstick and blonde hair, tied in small buns. She likes to smile, she likes to make angry faces, the band was especially strong. You can actually see the friendship in them. She wore her usual "bra tank top" and her body was really toned. When she sings when she moves it all reminds me of how I used to draw her or put her on my old blogs, this is it. One of my dream girls in front of me. The whole band was crazy and spontaneous. They looked like they were having lot of fun! A great period of my life. I was happy in a very weird way, not knowing how to feel, but of course I was happy. One of my favouritest surprise in my life. YAYYYYYYY

And now I am home, after lots of mucus on Wallace's shirt, a nice sleep on a comfy bed, and it was a perfect ending to the concert. Conversations with him are wonderful, he makes me understand and I do the same. We could talk about anything, he would wince and laugh, he would fart and I would give a disgusted face but laugh. We smile, we smile all the time. My heart shines. He is my best friend.


PS: N.E.R.D was very very awesome and energetic! Not giving enough props to them in this post but josh and I were dancing i mean bauuwwwning and singing along. MISTER! LOOK AT YOUR GRRRRRL! SHE SEXY!!!!!! Pharell jumped jumped jumped and the whole band got the audience up and crazy. Awesome performance. k bye

i'm happy and disappointed, you know?

"happy birthday Wallace!"
"happy birthday Stacy."

8 sept x 02